This one hit me hard today…in my heart.
Because at our very core, we ARE love. When we love someone, we see ourselves in them. We also see the parts of ourselves that are hurting and out of alignment.
We unconsciously hope this person can make things right for us. I’m convinced it’s what keeps us coming back to unhealthy situations over and over. We desperately want to be aligned with ourselves.
The reason we are attracted to people is ultimately because there are parts of ourselves that need healing. These people have the power to bring up these parts.
Then…. we are at choice. Both of us.
Family, friends, lovers all mirror back to us what needs healing.
Ideally, we connect with people for this higher purpose. Where we get stuck is thinking someone outside of ourselves can make things right for us. It is our job first.
The most beautiful relationships are ones where both parties are pursuing wholeness. True relating is when we sit together to face what’s out of alignment. True relating is two people providing safety to each other in our deepest shame and ugliness.
The painful lesson I continue to learn is that not everyone is ready, willing or capable of sitting with me, or me with them, and that’s okay. In fact, learning to be okay with that is a critical part of the journey.
Learning who is with us, is one of the great lessons in life.
No one is better or worse than we are. People are just in different places along the path. Our power lies in the answer to these questions: Is this person capable of walking alongside me? Or will I be chasing them or dragging them along? Is this person choosing consciousness over staying asleep?
Sadly, love is not enough.
Developmentally, can this person meet me where I am? Is this person pursuing the depth of vulnerability and growth that I am? Is this person showing up for themselves and living in integrity?
These are hard questions to consider and then act upon. Because letting people go and being willing to sit with the empty space that they left behind is not for the faint of heart.
The Universe always has our back, however. I trust that those who are meant to be with me, will meet me. Those who cannot I release with love to walk their own path.