Gah. I HATE that word. I especially hate that word when it is assigned to a person. It minimizes their value. It categorizes them as “less than”. Here we go with our measuring sticks. I’m guilty of using the word, and although I try to not to say it out loud I have thought it. I resolve to stop.
We assign that label for all kinds of reasons. We call someone a loser when they don’t meet our standards. We say loser when someone chooses something we would not choose, behaves in a way we would not behave or does not possess the qualities or possessions we do. We all have a value system we base our lives on, and so for some reason we feel better about ourselves by putting others in categories. It’s rather close-minded and judgmental.
Most recently, a friend of mine was labeled a loser by someone else in my life. This friend was placed in the “loser box” because he doesn’t drive a nice car or have a big bank account. He also tends to bullshit from time to time. From society’s shallow standards he has not been successful. But what society does not know is that this dude has kicked addiction, completely changed his lifestyle and relationship habits, he’s willing to take responsibility when he’s wrong, is a great dad, treats his friends and family with love and respect, is a loyal friend a positive person to be around and serves others selflessly.
How dare you not wear an expensive watch?!
It infuriates me that we determine one’s value based on outward appearances. Or worse yet, we ignore lack of character out of people who appear to have achieved success.
It has also been my observation that when people are “successful” by society’s standards we will excuse or completely overlook all kinds of bad behavior. You can be a bullshitter, a liar, a cheat, totally judgmental, lose your temper and treat people poorly. But if you’re paying the bill, driving a nice car or inviting me over to your beautiful home for dinner those things just don’t seem like such a big deal anymore.
Why is that???