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single.

July 17, 2017

If I had music intro to this blog it would be Beyonce’s Single Ladies or maybe Destinys Child’s Survivor…

 

For the first time, I write this blog draft in the notes of my iPhone while sitting bleary eyed in the Sanford, FL airport after a whirlwind weekend. I’m a pen and paper kind of girl but in the spirit of trying new things… here we go. 6:55am departure.

 

This trip is a return flight after a birthday girls excursion.  The most generous compliments of the birthday girl (you know who you are). She treated 8 of us to a 3 day Bahamas cruise. Yes, treated.

 

The married:single ratio was about 50/50. But we weren’t there to pick up dudes. We ate. We drank. We danced the night away. We were there to celebrate the birthday girl, friendship and have a blast! Check, check, check.

 

All that said, this single lady stuff is relatively new to me. I am learning so much about myself, the opposite sex and the world in general.

 

So today I will ramble a bit about all the things I learned in just 4 short days.

 

I watched my friends interact with each other and strangers alike. People and their behavior intrigue the hell out of me. This blog could be really long as a result, but most of us have the attention span of a fruit fly.

 

During my trip I heard lines like I’ve never heard before;  from “You are the dopest person I’ve ever met.” to “I would totally eat your butt…” (Insert glaring emoji here).

 

Some people watch sports. Some people watch birds. I watch people. I sit back and observe. I stay in the cut and listen. When the moment is right (for me) I engage.

 

This is practice. I met my ex at age 17, married at 22. My experience as a single adult is rather slim, so I’m practicing. I’m learning about myself. I’m learning about the opposite sex. The truth is you don’t even have to date to learn a ton. Simply watch, listen and learn.

 

I’m learning I’m quite shy and sometimes socially awkward. I’m learning people are so different yet all the same. I’m learning that I’m really special… because I’m me.

 

After spending 4 days with some incredibly smart, talented and beautiful ladies I realize we are all single, meaning individual. This weekend has been a huge kick-off for so many new adventures in my life. As a married woman I gave up so much of myself as what I considered a sacrifice of love. I have since learned it is never loving to deny who you are for the sake of another.  Never.

 

Single adventure takeaways from the weekend:

 

  • married or not, be yourself (or figure out who you are and then be that)

  • people really do want to connect on a deeper level

  • first impressions aren’t always what they seem

  • I am powerful and at choice. I do not have to indulge people, places or conversations that make me uncomfortable

  • say sorry. Kiss and make-up. It’s worth it.

  • share your gifts with the world…since gifts are meant to be given away

  • be real. It’s refreshing and people dig it

  • if you’re going to have beautiful Latina friends, learn Spanish and learn to appreciate Latin music

  • good food and drink with friends is way more important than having abs

  • laugh. A lot

  • sleep is optional

  • value experiences over things. (I love a great handbag or red-bottom shoes but they won’t fill your heart over and over like great memories).

  • when given the opportunity to drive a BMW M3, take it

  • don’t get “bro’d”

  • put yourself out there. Chances are the other person is scared to death too

  • there’s something to learn from everyone, even the creepy guy on the Lido deck

  • Bruno Mars, thank you

  • a 12 vs. 2 bar fight is never a good idea, but choose friends that always have your back

  • never settle for less than you deserve in any relationship

  • do things that challenge your comfort zone boundaries (even if your nervous ticks flare)

  • friends, water and suntans make everything better

  • single-serve friends are the spice of life (see ‘goals’ blog)

As I wrap up these ramblings I challenge you and myself to be single… meaning be individual. Be a whole person on your own without needing another to complete you.  Be single, be yourself and I’m going to practice doing the same.

 

 

 

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