If I dropped my pants right here in front of you chances are it would make you uncomfortable. In the physical, unless you and I are intimately connected if I were to change my clothes in front of you, it would bring some level of discomfort.
You might think – sheesh if you want to try that on, get a fitting room.
For the remainder of this blog please use the word change for GROWTH interchangeably.
It’s a silly metaphor I know, but a powerful one. The same goes for heart/life change.
Change makes people uncomfortable. When you change it makes people in your life uncomfortable. Our family, our friends, our employers were all drawn to us because of who we ARE; not for who we aspire to become. Sadly, when we change, it makes people uncomfortable because they unconsciously are afraid they will have to change as well. Sometimes our change makes people uncomfortable because in our broken or lowly position they feel superior to us. Sometimes people feel they can control, manipulate or influence us. It makes them feel better, stronger or more secure. But the moment you begin to grow or change that shift can be unwelcome….especially by those closest to us.
We like things to stay the same. We feel we can control outcomes, manage expectations, live with certainty.
It’s an illusion. It’s a lie we tell ourselves. The truth is: nothing is permanent. Nothing in this life is certain except for change.
Some embrace change. Some resist change. Regardless of your attitude towards it-you are powerless over it…..unless it’s your own.
Change begins with awareness. It’s that moment that you realize, “This is not working for me anymore!”. It could mean, I don’t like the way that person speaks to me. I feel taken advantage of. I never have enough money in my bank account. Why do I keep attracting these kind of men into my life?
Awareness is a prerequisite for change. There’s a saying, “You can’t solve a problem for someone who doesn’t have one.” So as soon as you get that weird feeling in your gut, the tightness in your chest or something keeps you awake at night, pay attention!
You can trust yourself. The part of you that wants to grow and be better and better is crying out for CHANGE!
Ok, so you want to grow. You want to change. What do you do???
Decide; then pursue it.
In my experience, as soon as I’ve decided that something needs to change I begin to think about it, desire it and pursue it. This could mean a google search, an honest conversation with a safe person in your life, or reaching out to a professional for help. One thing is certain, there is no shame in asking for help. The most successful people in life surround themselves with those that are smarter than them and they draw from that wisdom. The most loving thing you can do is give those in your life room to change/grow without judgement or condemnation.
I don’t have all the answers. You don’t have all the answers. Together we can find the answers.
Change is uncomfortable, but I can tell you this: It’s totally worth it.