January 17, 2017

Today I was invited to lunch by 2 friends I affectionately refer to as K-Unit or K2….not to be confused with K-Cups but equally as refreshing.


I am not lying when I tell you I laughed my face off for 2 hours.  So much that when I went to my standing weekly therapy appointment my counselor said, “How are you? You look great!!”.  I was glowing, my face and belly hurt (in a good way) and I felt like I had just left the spa.  I’m not even sure what was so darn funny.  Laughter truly is good medicine.  Thanks ladies!


I have just finished yet another book,  Keeping the Love You Find, by Harville Hendrix Ph. D.  My best friend P and I both decided to read it, separately yet at the same time.  Sometimes knowing that someone else is reading the same book as you keeps you on task. And he makes me feel both safe and alive so read on.


The book is chock full of info that I cannot even begin to summarize in one blog.


But great news!  I have found the meaning of life!


Today is your lucky day because I will share it with you, free of charge.  You’re welcome.


What we are all searching and yearning for is that feeling of aliveness


Aliveness can be seen in the life of a child.  Every child before insecurity and self-consciousness sets in, lives in the moment, acting in total abandon and without fear of judgment.  If you have kids or spend time around kids this is easily observed.  Kids aren’t scared of much, if anything.  They spin til they’re dizzy, dance like no one’s watching, sing like no one is listening and shove food in their mouth and blow snot bubbles or milk out of their noses.  They laugh out loud and cry freely until one of us adults tells them to stop it….because someone told us to stop it.


What can we learn from kids?  We can learn that their relaxed joyfulness and expression of aliveness is what we need more of in our lives.


Aliveness is actually what we’re after with our cars, watches, gourmet food, designer clothes, recreational sex, porn, working out, walks on the beach, TV and movies.  Dr. Hendrix says, “Materialism, hedonism, greed and self-centeredness- are all the hallmarks of the American way.  What all this truly represents is that we live in a world and in relationships, that don’t allow us to feel fully alive.”.   He goes on to say, “If we don’t feel alive, we feel like we’re going to die.  So we do something, buy something, bingeon something, take drugs, drink, run twenty miles, get laid, turn up the music.”.


Somewhere along the way we became afraid.  Life happened.  The fears choked out the safety.


Aliveness can only be fully experienced in safety.


Here’s the challenge: find a safe place and/or a safe person and choose an activity to awaken your sense of aliveness.  A good loud belly laugh could be all you need.  Here are some fun ideas to jump start your creativity….and remember it’s purely for fun:

  • Turn up the music loud and dance with abandon.

  • Get with your partner or children and practice belly laughing until you can really jump-start an authentic laugh.

  • Speak in gibberish or babble mindlessly.  Kids love this.

  • Sing and dance in the car to your favorite song, even if people are watching.

  • Go roller skating or play tag outside with your kids.

You get the picture.  Do something you would have done as a kid without a second thought.  Then make note of how alive it makes you feel.


Repeat daily….and enjoy!

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